The Burning-Issues Trap

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STEVE: "Natural. There's the real issue. You gotta separate yourself from the shit you've taken on as "you" along the way. The "false self", as it's been described. Is this along the lines of what you're saying?"
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We have to acknowledge that 98% of what we think is US is nothing more than a huge pile of CRAP that we have accepted from our parents, our teachers, our coaches, our pastors. We have made it OURS without really questioning it or even understanding that it should ALL be questioned. How else do we explain the very high percentage of adults who practice the same faith as their parents? Eat the same food? Have the same favorite dessert? Enjoy the same sports? Drive the same brand of cars? We THINK all of that is us. But it's NOT us. It's us struggling to live a life that ALL those influential people in our lives will approve of and give us some "atta-boys" or "atta-girls" for. If we REALLY had the balls (or the ovaries . . . Tits . . . what DO girls have -- that compares to BALLS I mean?) to live the life we imagine, we couldn't bring ourselves to care what any of those people think. Not that the "input" of others has NO value, but what we think about our own lives should be at least 100 times MORE valuable. We can live our lives STILL trying to please someone who has been dead for 20 years! STILL seeking their approval -- still yearning to impress them with all that we've done. Still waiting for that "atta-boy" -- from a dead person. It's insane, Man! But how many of us do it? And how many more do it without even realizing it? And how many more realize it but are in denial about it? Their dreams for us are THEIR dreams! They weren't REAL for them and they shouldn't be REAL for us either. Dead or alive, we simply must let their dreams return to them and dream our own dreams and live them out in the real world as best we can -- whether or not they approve (and they probably won't, but who cares?)
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STEVE: "Haven't you found that your emotions are a kind of barometer to let you know where you are and how you're doing? Kind of a signpost saying "dead end" or "stop ahead"? Or are we talking about two different things?"
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Totally. My barometer is neighbor's barking dogs. When my life is in balance, I hear them and they bug me a little but I can redirect my thoughts and energy to something else. When my life is OUT of balance, I'm thinking, "There's nothing more fucking useless than some STUPID dog that sits there barking his stupid head off all day when no one is home to hear his "warnings" anyway. But it's not really the dog that is stupid, it's their owners that are STUPID! How inconsiderate of someone to own an animal whose sole purpose in this life is to annoy every neighbor within earshot of his dog?" See how that works for me? So NOW when I find myself getting upset about some stupid worthless barking dog, I catch myself and the following conversation ensues: "Okay, take a deep breath here cowboy . . . breathe . . . what's going on? Who's pissing you off and you're not doing anything about it? Find your balance -- retreat to your safe place -- let it go."
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Of course, what's most revealing about this to me is the dog is still barking. His behavior is unchanged. His owner isn't likely to grow a brain in this decade. ONLY my response to the stimulus has changed -- and that is sufficient to change EVERYTHING.
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STEVE: "Someone who's "right" must see all the "wrong" in the world. Does he simply accept it for what it is, understanding how unawakened people are, or does he set about to change it and them...or, more to the point, *through* them? Where does rebellion fit in, or does it change into something else?"
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To me, TRUE freedom is freedom from the need or desire to change others -- about anything. None of us has a perfect lock on what is "right" or "true." Our perceptions are so distorted by our life experience, it's impossible for us to see anything clearly. It's like peering through smoke that's all around us; always hoping it will clear up but it never does. All we can say about anything -- with any accuracy at all -- is these were my choices . . . this is what I chose . . . and these were/are my consequences. While constantly acknowledging YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary).
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Ultimately, I must accept that I have little or no ability to change anyone -- they do what they do for their very own and very personal reasons -- it has NOTHING to do with me. The MOST I can hope for is to have some tiny amount of influence with someone: maybe they'll hear something I said and it will plant a seed in their own thoughts; maybe they'll read something I wrote and be inspired to rethink where they are on an issue. But it's ALL up to them; it has NOTHING to do with me. And I can't afford to care whether any of this happens or not. Nothing others do is because of me.
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STEVE: "Many "enlightened" people have sought to spread their understanding to others, and some have been seen as rebels against the current system. I wonder to what degree rebellion and being awake go hand-in-hand. They're pretty close, I think. Up to a point?"
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H. Jackson Brown, Jr. said, "People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." To me, the ultimate "rebellion" is not really caring all that much about what other people think. In other words, if others have no desire to read and learn and grow and exercise their minds with reasoned discourse and logic, how does that make me an idiot? Any time we cross over into that we-are-the-enlightened-ones-and-everybody-else-is-an-idiot mode, we are behind enemy lines and we must be extremely careful. It's a trap designed to restrain us and contain us -- that we should be forever held UNwise and UNfree. It's no different than religious faiths who are convinced they are the only ones who are going to heaven and all the other faiths are going to hell. If "they" are right, then my prayer is that they be transported to wherever their ultimate destination is . . . NOW . . . that the rest of us may suffer in peace.
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I love that scene in Platoon where the young man is explaining his reason for joining up: that he didn't think it was fair that only the poor kids had to fight for their country. The older and wizened black soldier observes, "What we have here is a CRUSADER! You got to be rich thinking like that."
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I was an early fan of Harry Browne's "How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World." At one time, I thought I must've memorized the whole book. It certainly has been a major influence for most of my adult life. One of the chapters talks about the "burning-issues trap" and Harry must've listed 20 "burning issues" of the day = abortion, unions, immigrants, discrimination, poverty, war, hunger, etc. He wrote about the futility of dedicating our lives to any of those causes thinking we could achieve significant change for ANY one of them, much less for ALL of them. For example, abortion has always been a "polar" issue and I suspect it always will be -- the two camps are never going to lay their weapons down and come to an agreement that everyone can live with (unintended pun). As a young rebel looking for my cause, I was quite disappointed. Imagine the revelation, though, when I looked again at that same list -- 25 years later -- and realized what he had written was absolutely true: there had been no significant change for ANY of those issues. If anything, things had gotten worse. Since my original reading, dumb-ass bible tampers had executed so-called abortion doctors. The so-called "pro-lifers" had waged war on the so-called "pro-choicers" and that battle continues to this day.
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(I did notice, though, that virtually all prominent "pro-life" speakers are so freakin' ugly that their credibility is compromised. I mean: "What are you doing up there pretending this is a relevant issue for you? Because that would mean there was some possibility -- however remote -- that you could actually become impregnated (perhaps by tripping and falling on a fertile man with genetic blindness AND an erection?) and then be faced with the moral dilemma of whether to abort or not and -- looking at you -- I'd say it's a sure bet that ain't EVER gonna' happen!" Aww, shit -- I did it again. Sorry, Kathleen.)
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During those 25 years, my own "strong" convictions sailed back and forth across the battle lines -- wanting first to stand united with "no money in the offering plates until my sisters are free" and later wanting to encourage a world so filled with love that no unborn child would ever be unwanted; where churches of all faiths would "practice their lofty preachin' " and embrace and encourage and support these young and often poor and often poorly educated women who had no support network and no options and no money and no place to go instead of them being kicked out by their own parents AND often shunned by their church "family" as well. So here I am -- now 30+ years later -- pretty darn sure that my "strong" convictions about abortion NEVER really had much impact . . . regardless of what side of the fence I was on at the time. The controversy rages on like the wild fire it is and will continue to do so LONG after I'm gone -- to wherever it is I'm going -- if I'm going anyplace, that is. Some place other than where those IDIOTIC 7th Day Adventists go -- I hope . . . or maybe that is what hell would be for me: searching through 142 kazillion souls for eternity -- never finding even ONE that would agree with me.
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sail4free
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"To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be."
-Anna Louise Strong
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"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear."
-Thomas Jefferson
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Try saying this one six times -- real fast:
"I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are."
-Milton Berle
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